We’ve been keeping a little (not-so-secret) secret. We’re expecting a little one!
It’s been so long that we’ve been keeping it a secret that we’re now in our third trimester! On New Year’s Eve, I felt like something wasn’t quite right. I can’t even explain now what it was, but I just had a weird feeling. So, I took a test, and low and behold it was positive. And my New Year’s Eve plans were quickly over. Rather than staying out and drinking cocktails in a nightclub, I was home by half past ten, contemplating what this meant for me. And it was very strange.
I didn’t know what to think – I was obviously very excited, but I was also slightly worried, confused, and very, very surprised. We’d talked about it and thought we’d start thinking about expanding our family in the new year, half-joking that we’d have charts everywhere, logging everything. But New Year’s Eve changed all that, and we didn’t even get that far. Once we’d got over the initial surprise, we were overjoyed.
The plan was to not tell anyone until the twelve-week mark when it’s safer to do so. But the people I was going out with the night I found out guessed very quickly. Then, because I was feeling so sick, we felt we had to tell our family. So we ended up sharing the news a lot earlier with a few people than intended.
Generally it’s been a really lovely experience for me. I’ve been really lucky (touches wood for the next six weeks) that I haven’t had any symptoms of pregnancy really since the first trimester. I do get cramps in my legs at night a lot. But I’ve also been waking up early, which has actually been great. I’ve only just really started to balloon (the word a lot of people use when they see me), until now I’ve had quite a cute little bump.
So, today I wanted to share some of the FAQs I had or have been asked about my pregnancy journey so far. Everyone’s journey is different, but hopefully sharing mine will answer any questions anyone has, or maybe make someone feel a little more normal – because nothing about this seems normal at times!
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First of all, how is Bob liking the idea of being a big brother?
He isn’t bothered at all. I was really looking forward to all the cute reactions from him of interacting with my bump and things. But he doesn’t seem to care. He’s just carried on as usual – which I’m not too sad about. He did once use the bump as a pillow, which was cute, but I think it was just more a coincidence than anything else.
But we’re very slowly starting to introduce him to things like the carrier and the baby bounce chair. Luckily he’s not too bothered by any of that so far either. He’s already got his rubber ball stuck under the nappy-changing drawers a few times, so he’s not scared of those. We’ll watch this space to see how he reacts when the baby is here, but so far I’m feeling optimistic.
How did you find the first trimester?
It wasn’t pleasant. I think up until around week 14 I felt fully engrossed in the first trimester symptoms. I didn’t feel well, I was nauseous most of the time, and my hormones were all over the place. I’m an emotional person anyway, but I would randomly cry. I remember one evening my husband was trying to tell me about his day, and I had to pause him to let him know I was about to cry about nothing. And to just continue with his story. It was weird.
But weirdly, I got into a routine of it all. I knew when I would actually be unwell (usually in the morning, then around dinner time), and based my day around those. Once I knew, it really wasn’t that bad. I did try all the things like ginger biscuits and lemon-ginger tea, but I very quickly got fed up with those.
How did you cope with first-trimester symptoms?
The big thing that I wish I had done (but didn’t) was admitting when I was having a sick day. I think because I didn’t know if it would end for the whole nine months, I was desperate to try and keep as busy and normal as possible. In hindsight, I would now take more rest days when I needed them, and admit I need a day off work. I used to force myself to go for a short walk to get fresh air and stretch my legs, but I think sometimes it wasn’t what I needed.
What was the second trimester like?
Honestly… amazing! I had so much energy and got so much done. I didn’t stop all day. It only took me two day to get the whole of our garden fence painted, then I completely re-dug and brick-edged the flower beds. I didn’t get that much done before I was pregnant. This was the time for me to get the house ready (as in fixing anything) and put together the nursery. Before getting to the third trimester…
And how has the third trimester been so far?
Tiring. I did still find that for the first part of it I had hints of the energy from the second trimester. But the problem was I would go with it, then crash big time. I’ve never had so many afternoon naps. My hero of the third trimester has been watching movies that I can dip in and out of. I wake up from a nap knowing what’s going on still because I’ve seen it before.
How have you been prepping for the baby’s arrival?
I have a more detailed post on that coming soon, but basically just getting the nursery ready as a base. I’m aware now that realistically the nursery itself won’t be urgent for a little while, as the baby will probably be in with us. But I’ve found it useful to do it anyway. Painting and decorating it has been so much easier now before we have a baby in the house. But it’s also given us more storage for all the things that come with a baby. Nappies, I’m looking at you.
We’ve also been going to NCT classes, which I’d really recommend. My main reason for going was to make friends. I don’t have any friends who have babies, so I was worried that I’d get lonely on maternity leave, and our baby won’t have any friends. But all the information is really useful. If you’re having your first pregnancy, I’d recommend looking to see if there are any local classes. Even just talking to the other parents is useful. And they told me things I’d never even heard of.
Did you start nesting?
So I’d never heard of this before, but yes, I did. Nesting is quite strange. Your mothering instincts start to kick in, and you start feeling the need (not just the urge) to get your space all ready for the baby to arrive. Luckily for me, the nursery took the biggest hit from this. I couldn’t wait to build the cot, and we had to book an Ikea trip – nesting meant it was something I just couldn’t put on hold. I ended up buying lots of storage for all of the baby’s things – I even bought drawer organisers, which is not like me at all.
It’s been really handy, I’ve got so much done. Even though I was fully aware that the nursery shouldn’t be a top priority because it’s not really their room for a while, it does mean that I’ve been working on getting everything ready, like nappies and wet wipes. I’ve used it as an opportunity to ‘stock-take’ the clothes we have ready, then stock up on what we don’t have much of.
Plus I’ve been frantically tidying a lot of the other rooms in the house.
Have you had any weird cravings?
No, not a single one. In the early days, when I wasn’t feeling myself, I would stick to the same foods – fish fingers, sausages, and boiled potatoes. But I wouldn’t say I craved them. They were just my ‘safe’ options (i.e. they didn’t make me feel unwell).
But even as I’ve gotten into the later stages of pregnancy I wouldn’t say I’ve craved anything. I have found that if I think about a certain food then sometimes I need it. But it’s random, so I wouldn’t call it cravings.
Have you packed your hospital bag?
Yes, and I think this all fell in as part of my nesting. It was another thing that I didn’t feel comfortable with until I’d done it. Now it’s sat in the wardrobe in the baby’s room, along with the baby’s bag, ready to grab when it’s time to go.
When it comes to what to pack, I found all sorts of lists, and they were all different. So in the end I just used most of what I wanted from all the lists. The Bounty app is great generally, but they have a checklist on there, which you can tick off as you pack it. It covers a lot of sides to things and is quite extensive. I also used Pinterest a lot – you have to take some of the lists as personal preference, but it is good seeing what other mums-to-be packed.
What are you most excited about being a mum?
The little things, like going for ice cream with little one, or to the park. I’m looking forward to just being a mum, and doing child-friendly things. Movie days will be great – it’s a great excuse to work through all the kid’s films again. And I’m looking forward to all the little outfits.
It sounds cliche, but I am just excited to find out who our kid will be. Little things, like what colour will their hair be, and will they look like me or Spinney. Even the long term, like what career will they want and what will their hobbies and interests be. It’s all just very unknown, but exciting.
What’s your general advice for anyone about to start their pregnancy journey?
Listen to how you’re feeling. All the time. Knowing that I feel how I feel now, health-wise, I wish I’d taken more rest days in the first trimester when I wasn’t feeling well. I pushed myself to stay as normal as possible, still going to work, but I wish I’d taken more days as sickness and just rested. I think I’d have felt a lot better physically, a little less emotional all the time, and found the first trimester a lot less stressful overall.
Also, don’t be afraid to ask questions and flag worries. Midwives are lovely people, and they care about their mums-to-be so much. I’ve asked some probably silly questions throughout my appointments, and they always answer without judgment. They know how overwhelming it can all be, and are the perfect people to provide support, so don’t be afraid of them. If you have worries as well, tell them. We had one instance where I convinced myself I couldn’t feel the baby moving anymore. I rang the helpline, and they got us straight in for a check-up. Everything was fine, but they made a big effort to make sure it didn’t put me off reporting it if it ever happened again.
And finally, enjoy it! That might feel hard at times, especially in the first trimester, but honestly really try as hard as you can. You won’t enjoy every moment, that’s fine. But when you’re feeling low, enjoy being able to take a movie-duvet day.
Enjoy rubbing your tummy – I find it comforting now.
